Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Real Love

When I started to write this post I had zero intention of making it about milestones. I just had an idea and wanted to look up how long Mike and I have been married. I logged onto The Knot----it’s been 150 days. Isn’t that nuts?! Today also marks 6 years of us as a couple. Cra--zy.

We didn’t live together before we got engaged. We probably wouldn’t have moved in together before we got married if I hadn’t lived in a terrible part of town and had something stolen from my apartment shortly after the engagement. In hindsight, this was a blessing because it led to me moving into Mike’s apartment and us finding our house shortly thereafter. We’ve lived in our house for almost a year. Where has the time gone?

But this post is about love. I knew I loved Mike a long time ago. Sure, we went through our ups and down--heck, we met when I was 19, who doesn’t have drama during their early 20’s?—but I knew this was it for me. So when that shiny diamond appeared before me in Disney, saying "yes!!" was a no-brainer.

When we first got engaged, everyone told me how different marriage was going to make things. I politely nodded but in my head I was scoffing—“We’re DIFFERENT. We’ve been together for YEARS. We’re SOULMATES.” Go ahead, roll your eyes.

We were in love. I was sure I had it all figured out. And then we moved in together. And I started to realize what real love is.

Mike and I had always had different schedules, but we made it work. But going from seeing someone 2 times a week to every single day is like quitting caffeine cold-turkey: major system shock. Mike realized there was a “dating Devon” –the one who wears make-up and makes funny jokes--and an “alone Devon”—the one who likes to wear sweat pants around the house and eat cereal for dinner every night. I caught on to how much Mike likes to play video games and the fact that he leaves pen caps EVERYWHERE. No pens; just the caps.

We trudged through the task of buying a house, where we had to make major financial decisions together. We went to marriage classes which were silly, but forced us to talk about things we hadn’t really discussed before. We were reaching a new level in our relationship.

Then came the wedding. The instant I turned the corner and saw Mike, I felt a new type of love for him. Nothing was the same. This was my husband!

Everyone was right: marriage has definitely changed us. I can’t explain it, but we’re different. We operate as a team. Long gone are the days when I thought love was about getting flowers and jewelry. Real love is about figuring out your finances together in a tough economy, making each other laugh after a bad day or cleaning the house without having to be asked. Or maybe just accepting the fact that your spouse likes to eat cereal and play video games all night.

 150 days down. Years more to come :)

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