Monday, September 21, 2009

Point/Counter-Point: Father Daughter Dance

This morning I received an email from my beloved Dad that basically confirmed my worst fears: not only was he picking the song for us to dance to at our wedding, but he was not going to tell me what song it was until we were out on the dance floor and the music was starting.

(For every bride reading this, or for everyone who has ever met my dad, I’ll allow you time to gasp……and there you go.)

I am understandably concerned at this development. Although I love my dad and can’t wait to share this moment with him, I am already breaking out in cold sweats as I think about what songs he could possibly be mustering up. Personally, dancing to the theme from The Godfather is not something I want to explain to our wedding guests, nor a memory I want to recant to our children. But that's just me.

Yet my Dad swears he will pick a song that is not only memorable, but meaningful. He promises people will be tearing up at the sight of us gliding across the dance floor to this mysterious tune. However, I feel like I should have a hand in picking out the song we dance to.

So I pose the question to you, dear readers:

Who gets to pick the song we dance to? The father or the daughter?

Counsel, present your arguments.

The Bride = Defendant (defending the integrity of the wedding)
The Father= Plaintiff (pleading for what he thinks will be a sweet moment)

First up, the Plaintiff.

My Dad swears he will pick the right song for us to dance to. He promises to browse many catalogs of music, finding the most appropriate song for the moment. He realizes how important the moment is and most certainly knows how ANGRY I will be if he does something to mess this up.

Also, I have already vetoed him wearing a red bow tie to the wedding, and he is paying for the reception. I don't want to be too much of a Bridezilla. Too much.

Now, please allow the Defendant to present her case.

I admire my Dad's ambition. It's very touching, but I can't help but remember that my dear old Pops went through a very significant period in which he thought the Cherry Poppin' Daddies were "the next big thing." (I still can't get 'Zoot Suit Riot' out of my head.)

I also have a hard time leaving any part of the wedding unplanned and out of my hands. It's my party and I'll be neurotic if I want to. Additionally, Mike and I are paying for the DJ.

I present the case to you, jury of my blogosphere peers. What's the verdict?

Who will be picking the song for the Father/Daughter dance?


  1. Plaintiff’s response:

    Oh ye of little faith. I do realize that this moment in time is one that will be remembered. I plead guilty to the charge of liking “Zoot Suit Riot” but I also remember someone (Defendant) detesting Billy Joel for many years but then converted. Tastes change.

    If the facts are to be known, the bride to be informed her father that he could choose the father/daughter dance song. There was no addendum that stated “with my approval”.

    Aside from proudly walking my daughter down the aisle (which makes me smile and sad at the same time) the father/daughter dance will be one of the most fantastic and memorable moments of my life. Choosing the appropriate song to dance to is not to be taken lightly.

    Many hours have been spent researching, listening to and eliminating possible selections. Truth be known – The theme from the Godfather was never in contention so stop trying to influence the jury.

    The song was not selected as the defendant states “he promises that people will be tearing up at the sight of us gliding across the dance floor to this mysterious tune”.

    It was chosen simply because it expresses my true feelings about that moment and occasion.

    Who is paying for the weeding or DJ as brought up by the defendant is irrelevant.

    What is relevant is that a father loves his daughter and is proud of her and wants to take the opportunity to express his feelings at this time with an appropriate song.

    I rest my case.

  2. Give your mom veto power and my vote goes to the plaintiff.

  3. My dad picked a song that I REALLY didn't like at all. Still don't. It was cheesy. Anyway, I let him have his moment, and I think it really meant a lot to him. It was like one of two times I've seen him cry. But at least I knew what it was going to be. I'd be a little wary if it was going to be a surprise.

  4. Sorry, Devon, I'm with your dad. In my limited experience with him I've found he can be quite surprising at times(Maybe Mike can attest to this. He had to have a conversation with him before asking for your hand in marriage.). AND, look at his heartfelt response above.

    My dad surprised me with his choice of song and it was lovely and fitting for us. I'm sure your dad can be trusted in this task to do the same. My vote goes to the plaintiff.

  5. For the record, while Jennelle didn't like her dad's choice, I seem to remember many people wiping away tears and smiling at the moment. And Jennelle herself was smiling, too. :)

  6. I think your dad presents a pretty good arguement here, Dev.

    But I suggest a review of said song by your mom.

  7. Look at Papa C pulling out the big guns and playing on the heart strings of the jury!

    I see that I stand alone here. (Although I object and say that I never gave free range of song selection.) I do like the idea of having an intervening party, but something tells me that isn't going to be agreed upon amongst the parents.

    My only problem with this is that I would like to know beforehand so I'm not sobbing through the entire thing.

    Also, can I at least say no country songs? I really hate country music.

  8. Really Dev- you're going to be sobbing anyway so give it up and wear the right make-up. Wow - you getting dressed up and in make-up. I'm with your Dad on this one. Throw the guy a bone and let him pick the song. It's not like you won't be on edge thinking about the other things the family will do to mark this special occasion!

  9. I don't have a lot of experience running one of these web logs -- What? Blogs? That'll never work! -- but it would seem to me you'd rather not have back-to-back posts blow up in your face. I believe that's happened here. Correct me if I'm wrong.

    Personally, I suggest you both pick one and we have a dance off.

  10. I'm pretty sure my blog is more popular than yours.

  11. From Jack Bauer to the Defendant: Defendants often waive their rights in many criminal cases because of overwhelming evidence of guilt and involvement. They opt to plea bargain instead admitting their guilty in hopes of a lighter sentence. In this case, I suggest you do so because there is substantial evidence against you. The report of investigation revealed that the plaintiff worked tirelessly for many years to support, care and love you. The plaintiff paid your bills, put a nice roof over your head and schooled you in the social graces. He was your white knight until the Prince of Springfied made his way into your life. That said, take Jack's advice, allow the plaintiff his time in the sun, for it's his moment, too, that father/daughter bridal dance. Don't ruin it! I hope he picks a nice Italian melody like Dean Martin sung way back in Napoli. This case is closed 1A.11.11. Oh, another piece of advice--don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small. Jack

  12. OMG - so glad I re-checked this... never though Jack Bauer aka Anonymous aka King of Springfield would make an appearance on this blog.

    Devon - remind me to tell you the "chick" story if I haven't already.

  13. I have already called Mike "the Prince of Springfield" 4 times since reading this. I love it!

    I can clearly see I have lost. But this was decided by a jury of my peers, so when each of you see the outcome in April, know that this was all your fault.

  14. I'm glad to see the Prince of Springfield has had NO COMMENT. Don't come between a girl and her Dad. It's a no-win situation.
    Queenie :-)

  15. I did the exact opposite....I picked the song and did not tell my dad until we were on the dance floor. I could not give up any planning factor of the wedding! Good Luck! ~Carrie


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